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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Things I Learned from Zelda

I've compiled another list, this time of lessons I've gleaned from my hours months years of gaming. Today, these are the lessons I gained from the Legend of Zelda, particularly the Ocarina of Time.
  1. The most useful things in life float for no apparent reason.
  2. Creationism is common. Plus, Hyrule can more or less prove their creation story. We can't.
  3. Going into strangers' houses and destroying their pottery is completely acceptable.
  4. You can ask rocks what time it is if you hit them.
  5. With the right disguise, those rocks will tell you things... secret things... This is normal.
  6. Interspecies engagements just might be common.
  7. Not eating for seven years will make you into a strong, young man.
  8. Some fairies are awesome, allowing you to set fire to stuff; others you just wish you could stab.
  9. Rainbows make for safe bridges.
  10. With the proper tools, anything is possible. Like time travel, or throwing boulders.
  11. Talking trees require no vocal folds (because I know my musically trained fiancée would correct me if I called them "chords") for speaking.
  12. People who resemble rocks are pretty dumb, but it's impossible to fool a tribe made entirely of women.
  13. Looking like Peter Pan doesn't mean you can fly. But Pan never carried an awesome sword.
  14. Violence is still the answer.
It's amazing the things we learn from varying sources of entertainment. If you've got any obscure lessons learned from bizarre sources, feel free to send them in!

Grace and peace,

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